Naruto Truth or Dare!
by So Happily Unsatisfied
Summary: Tobi hates basketball, Hinata went goth, Karin and Sakura are in a cage match, Sasuke knows the truth about his parents, Shino is in the emo corner, and Kisame moved to Sea World. Find out what else can happen when bored Narutards play Truth or Dare.
1. Intros, Chicken Butts, and Sea World

Hi there peoples! It's Spring Break now so I decided to do another story. I will still be continuing my previous story, _"Saturday Night Catastrophe!". _ Not to worry! I will be updating this story every Sunday and if I don't, may the evil mutant butterflies and flying spaghetti monster take me far, far away in the dead of night and steal my soul and Tobi's cookies.

**Tobi:** Not my cookies! NOOOOOOOO! (ties me to a chair and shoves my computer in my face). WRITE!

**Da Rules: There are no rules! Just review or PM me ANY truth or dare you can possibly think of. It can be as crazy or realistic as you want. Just be creative.  
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**Disclaimer: If I did own this, Kakashi would still be alive and Sasuke and would not.**

**Sasuke**: Hey! You cannot defeat me in all my smexiness!

**Sakura**: (Infatuated) Total smexiness.

**Me**: (Roll eyes at Sakura). Shut up you pretentious prick or else I will sic Sakura and the other fan girls on you.

**Sasuke**: (Eyes widen and falls back in fear). I'll be good!

**Me**: Good. Now on with the fic!

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**So Happily Unsatisfied**: (Bursts through the double doors and screams on the top of her lungs) SPRING BREAK! WOO HOO! (Insert manic happy dance here). I'm free! I'm free! I'm f***ing free! A week of no college or all nighters for me!

**So Happily Unsatisfied**: (Happy dance finally subdued and the wind blows leaves in an awkward anime silence). Now what? (Perks up) I know! (Whips out cell phone). I'll just send a few messages!

Several moments later, the entire Naruto cast comes bursting through the double doors.

**Naruto:** Teme! I know you're here! I am going to bring you back to Konoha whether you like it or not! (Clenches fist).

**Sakura: **Sasuke-kuuuuun! I am going to get you in my skintight pants whether you like it or not!

**Sasuke**: (Shutters at Sakura and then turns back to Naruto). Shut-up, dobe. I have come to avenge the great Uchiha clan. Itachi, (unsheathes katana), prepare to die!

**Itachi**: (Rolls eyes). Foolish little brother, we are only here for the Kyuubi vessel.

**So Happily Unsatisfied**: Ok, ok, ok people! Ninja of Konoha, Suna, Oto, Akatsuki, and anyone else who matters, my name is So Happily Unsatisfied, Shu-chan for short, and I will be your hostess for this evening.

**Choji**: Mmmm…Hostess cupcakes. (Drools over cream filled pastries).

**Shu-chan**: (Awkwardly turns away from Choji). Ok…anyways, I have gathered you all here today because I had nothing better to do. No one is allowed to leave without my permission. We have a never-ending supply of food and water so you all don't die of starvation or thirst. If you die, it will be due to the wishes of me or reviewers. So, since you are all here, I thought we would all play a game.

**Hinata**: W-what game are w-we p-p-playing?

**Konohamaru**: "Ninjas and S-Rank Criminals?"

**Shu-chan**: No.

**Tenten:** "Chutes and Daggers?"

**Shu-chan**: I thought I said ninja that matter. (Presses button and Tenten is pulled into a rip in the Time/Space Continuum and then disappears). Next!

**Pein**: "Take Over the World" game? Mwahahaha!

**Shu-chan**: (Wheels turning in head). Maybe later.

**Sasuke**: "Whack-a-Weasel?"

**Shu-chan**: (More annoyed) NO.

**Hidan**: (Hopeful) "Convert to Jashinism" game?

**Shu-chan**: No way.

**Orochimaru**: (Grins evilly) "Pin the Tail on the Sarutobi?"

**Shu-chan**: Nuh-ah.

**Choji **and **Naruto**: A ramen-eating contest?

**Shu-chan**: Nope.

**Hinata**: "I Spy?" (Looks at Naruto and blushes fiercely).

**Shu-chan**: No offense, but you do that anyway, Hina.

**Sakura**: "Spin the Kunai?" (Looks at Sasuke and squeals like a fan girl).

**Shu-chan**: In your dreams, fan girl. Ok, no more guessing! It's "Truth or Dare"!

**Sasuke**: And what if we don't want to?

**Shu-chan**: I thought we already went over the punishment, Sasuke.

**Sasuke**: Oh yeah… (shutters).

**Shu-chan**: Alrighty then, our first request is from my little brother, **Kyuubi Dork**.

**Naruto, I dare you to cop-a-feel on Sakura and then scream, "The Kyuubi made me do it!!!!" Then run like hell. (even though she's going to get you anyway)**

**And I dare Choji to donate ALL of his potato chips to a local food charity. Even the crumbs.**

**---Kyuubi Dork**

**Shu-chan:** Dude, that is just wrong.

**Naruto:** (Exuberantly smiles). OK!

Naruto ran over to Sakura, who was too busy fantasizing with the teme to hear the dare, and he went second base. Sakura rudely awoke from lemon daydream, wiped the string of drool hanging from her mouth, and death glared at Naruto.

**Naruto:** Huh. Not as satisfying as I thought it would be. Should have done Hinata, 'cause you're WAY too flat, Sakura-chan.

**Hinata:** (Blood spews out of both nostrils and she passes out).

**Inner Sakura:** (Vein throbbing on forehead explodes and Inner Sakura has been released). **I am gonna KILL YOU! CHA!**

**Naruto:** (Runs for his life from a vengeful rosette). The Kyuubi made me do it!!!! I swear! (Dodges a blow to the head by Sakura).

**Kyuubi: **_**Don't pin this one on me, Kit. I only destroy villages and eat humans, not molest minors.**_

**Naruto:** Damn it! (Finally gets punched by Sakura and is sent flying).

**Choji:** (Finally stops drooling over cupcakes and hugs all of his snacks protectively). I am not going to donate my babies to ANYONE!

**Shikamaru:** (Nervously approaches his spazzing out teammate). Um, Choji, I know it's a drag, so let me do it.

**Choji:** (Whimpers) ok…I'll close my eyes.

There is a knock on the door and Zetsu answers it revealing **Kyuubi Dork** with a big cherry red wheelbarrow.

**Light side:** Why, hello there, little boy. What's your name?

**Dark side:** (Flashes a toothy grin). Don't you look tasty?

**Shu-chan:** (Takes out spray bottle and squirts water in Zetsu's face). No! Bad Zetsu! No eating my brother.

**Kyuubi Dork:** I'm here to collect. (Gestures at the wheelbarrow).

Shikamaru helped **Kyuubi Dork** load up the red hand-propelled vehicle with Choji's tasty little friends until it nearly overflowed with all but one package of potato chips. Choji was still gripping the half eaten bag of chips and desperately trying to keep his eyes closed to avoid the horrid sight. **Kyuubi Dork** slowly slipped the bag out of the young Akamichi's grasp and put it on top of the stack of food bags, but this bag slid down the mountain and fell to the floor.

**Choji:** (Looks to see the chips he sacrificed to his dare all over the ground and goes ballistic). HOW **DARE** YOU WASTE **My **PERFECTLYGOOD POTATO CHIPS! **YOU SHALL PAY WITH YOU LIFE!**

Choji chases **Kyuubi Dork** all over the room for doing that heinous deed until Choji takes a nosedive at the wheelbarrow and starts gobbling all his salty little babies, bag and all.

**Kyuubi Dork:** I'm kinda scarred right now.

**Shikamaru:** You should probably just leave. We'll send you a check. (Walks **Kyuubi Dork** out the door).

**Shu-chan:** Now that that is over, I have a few truths and dares of my own. (Dramatic music plays and everyone huddles together in fear).

**1) Sakura, why do you chase Sasuke after he called you annoying, ignored you, knocked you out and dumped you on a park bench, and then left you? Are you really that dense?**

**2) I dare Sakura and Karin to fight to the death over Sasuke.**

**3) I dare Orochimaru to trade places with Michael Jackson for a week.**

**4) Sasuke, why does your hair look so much like a chicken ass? If I beat the crap out of you for killing Itachi, will I get a bunch of angry PETA protestors beating down my door?**

**5) I dare Naruto to come up with a new catch phrase.**

**6) Hinata, I dare you to let me buy you a whole new wardrobe at Hot Topic and then show off your new look to Hiashi and Neji.**

**7) I dare Ino to stick pink bubble gum in Sakura's hair. I want to see how long it will take for her to notice her head is Bubblicious.**

**8) Kisame must move to Sea World to take part in the headline performance.**

**---So Happily Unsatisfied (Shu-chan)**

**Sakura:** What are you talking about? Sasuke has been my teammate for, like, a whole four months! That's, like, FOREVER! So I speak fluent Uchiha. "You're annoying" means "I love you" and "get lost" means "I want to get in your pants." And don't EVEN get me started on when he said "thank you" that night! That means he wants to have wild and crazy sex! Therefore, Uchiha Sasuke obviously wants me as much as I want him! Right, Sasuke-kun?

**Sasuke:** (Turns to me with a devilish smirk on his face). Can I PLEASE kill her? I promise not to get too much blood on the floor.

**Shu-chan:** (Thinking about it). Tempting…very tempting…but she has to fight Karin now.

**Karin:** Yes! I have been meaning to kick this girl's ass!

**Sakura:** Bring it on, slut! I know Tsunade-sama is on my side!

**Tsunade:** Twenty thousand yen on Sakura!

**Sakura:** (Whining) Tsunade-sama! You're not supposed to bet on ME!

**Orochimaru:** Then I put forty thousand yen on Karin.

**Jiraya:** One hundred thousand yen on both of them winding up dead!

**Sasuke:** (Smiling) Here, here!

**Shu-chan:** (Snaps fingers and a steel cage magically appears). Ladies, please enter the cage. I will tell you when to begin.

Sakura and Karin eagerly enter the metal deathtrap and the cage slammed and triple locked. Then the cage is hoisted up in the air.

**Shu-chan:** Begin.

**Sakura:** You are going down, home wrecker! Sasuke is MY boyfriend!

**Karin:** Yeah, and I'm the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny on her way to deliver candy to orphans.

**Sakura:** You are gonna get a lot of money tonight from the tooth fairy because I'm going to knock out all your teeth!

**Karin:** I'd like to see you try.

**Everybody:** Shut up and start fighting!

Sakura and Karin start beating the crap out of each other and Jiraya whispers something in my ear.

**Shu-chan:** No there will not be chocolate pudding, you perv!

**Jiraya:** Awwww…

**Sasuke:** This is awesome! I might be rid of TWO fan girls! Whoopee! (Does my happy dance).

**Shu-chan:** (Whacks Sasuke over the head with a paper fan, hard). That's **MY** thing!

**Orochimaru:** (Licks lips with snake-like tongue). With both fan girls gone, I will have Sasuke-kun all for myself. Ku! Ku! Ku!

**Shu-chan:** Sorry, Ero-sannin, but you have to switch places with Michael Jackson now.

**Michael Jackson:** Hehe! (Does the moonwalk over to Sasuke and me).

**Orochimaru:** No fair…(exits room begrudgingly).

**Random woman outside:** There he is! It's Michael Jackson! The man who raped my Jimmy!

**Jimmy:** Mommy! Make the scary man with candy go away!

Police arrest a confused looking Orochimaru.

**Sasuke:** (Cries tears of joy). It's a dream come true! I am so happy! Nothing can bring me down!

**Juugo:** This is a first. Sasuke's not being an emo brat.

**Suigetsu:** I give it three minutes tops. (Turns away from Juugo and to Sasuke). So, Sasuke, I have always wondered why your hair looks like a chicken ass.

**Sasuke:** I was born with it. I don't know why.

**Itachi:** I do. (Appears from the shadows with a serious face). It's because we are half brothers.

**Sasuke:** What?! Since when?

**Itachi:** Since two years ago. (To himself) And the resurrection of the Uchiha clan rests on his shoulders? We are so extinct. (Back to Sasuke) Mother was not always faithful to father, so she had an affair with ondori-san* - your birthfather. Father was devastated when he found out, but he and mother worked things out over dinner. (To himself) That was the best chicken dinner I've ever had.

**Sasuke:** Mother cheated on father…with a CHICKEN!?

**Naruto:** OMG! I KNEW IT!

**Sasuke:** You never told me about my father before! How could you!?

**Itachi:** You never asked.

**Juugo:** Well, that would explain the occasional clucking noises coming from Sasuke-sama's tent.

**Sasuke:** I do not make clucking no-Bra-GAWK!

**Itachi:** And since he is the only one of his kind, PETA will come after you. Why else would I spare my little brother from the massacre? I didn't want a lawsuit or angry protestors. Enemy ninja and Uchiha clansmen are one thing, but dealing with politics and angry activists is a bitch.

**Sasuke:** (Cries hysterically in the emo corner). Wah! Nobody loves me!

**Suigetsu:** (Looks at watch and grins). Two minutes and thirty-eight seconds.

**Michael Jackson:** Don't worry, Sasuke. I still love you! (Glomps Sasuke and drags him into the closet).

**Juugo:** (Very concerned) Do you think we should help him?

**Shu-chan:** Maybe later. (Turns attention to Naruto). Well Naruto, while Karin and Sakura are dishing it out and Michael Jackson is raping Sasuke, why not start with that new catchphrase?

**Naruto:** I think I got one! (Clears throat) BELIEVE IT…or not.

**Shu-chan:** You can't use that catchphrase. That's copywriting!

**Naruto:** D'oh!

**Shu-chan:** What else do you got?

**Naruto:** Silly Akatsuki, Biju are for Jinchuriki!

**Shu-chan:** You're kidding, right?

**Naruto:** (In a real serious tone) Easy peasey lemon squeezy!

**Shu-chan:** (Falls over anime style). No. Just, no.

**Naruto:** Well, that's all I've got!

**Hinata:** You'll c-come w-w-with s-something, N-Naruto-k-k-kun.

**Naruto:** Thanks Hinata! (Naruto smiles brightly which causes Hinata to faint).

**Shu-chan:** Hinata! (Catches her before she hits the ground). I know what will make you feel better! Let's get you out of those big white coats and into something hot! (With a sinister gleam in eyes) you have those _emergency_ credit cards your dad gave you, don't you?

**Hinata:** (Grins mischievously and holds up a countless amount of credit cards in her hands).

**Shu-chan:** (In a Mr. Burn's fashion) Excellent. Let's stick it to him good!

**Naruto:** Shu-chan! (Stops Hinata and me from skipping off to the mall). What about the game?

**Shu-chan:** Right! Tobi is in charge of the rest of the chapter!

**Tobi:** Tobi is a good boy!

**Everyone else:** We're doomed.

**Shu-chan:** Buh-bye! (Leaves with Hinata).

**Tobi:** Okey-dokey then! Tobi is being a good boy and will move onto next dare!

**Ino:** Finally! (Waits for the first round of Sakura vs. Karin to end and walks over to her bloodied best friend).

**Sakura:** Ino-pig! Am I winning?

**Ino:** (Lies) Of course! Want some water, forehead?"

**Sakura:** Thanks, pig. (Takes the water bottle from her best friend and Ino sticks the gum in her hair while Sakura chugs down the liquid).

**Karin:** (Laughs hysterically while watching Ino gently places the gum on Sakura's scalp).

**Ino:** Mission accomplished.

**Tobi:** Yays! Now, onto the last dare! Kisame-sempai!

**Kisame:** (Tears fill his eyes when Tobi called upon him for his "Truth or Dare" challenge).

**Itachi:** Get a hold of yourself, man! Akatsuki don't cry.

**Tobi:** Why so sad, sempai?

**Kisame:** (Tries to wipe away the tears that flow freely down his cheeks, but a few tears still escape his eyes). I-I'm not s-sad. I'm so happy! I've been wanting to see Shamu-hime ever since I joined the Akatsuki and now I can! I'm coming for you, darling! (Kisame runs through the doors, without bothering to open them or notice that Shu-chan and Hinata left them open after they left, and heads to "Sea World".)

**Itachi:** I swear, I have never seen that guy in my life.

**Tobi:** Field trip!!!

---Time Skip to "Sea World"---

The entire Naruto cast and others take their seats somewhere in the audience – minus Orochimaru, Sasuke, Michael Jackson, Kisame, Itachi, Sakura, Karin, Hinata, and myself. Suddenly, the lights go down and a multitude of colored spotlights hit the water to illuminate the dark room. The audience look down at the marine animal trainer, who is none other than Weasel-kun.

**Itachi:** (In a reluctant and bored tone) Ladies and gentlemen, ninja and civilian, human and biju, welcome to a special "Sea World" performance starring Shamu, the killer whale, and Kamu, the…um…fish dude…!

Kisame and Shamu arise from the large pool of water in a great, synchronized leap, which caused the crowd to applaud. The entire Akatsuki in the audience, with the exception of Pein, who hung his head in shame, exploded into uncontrollable laughter at their blue skinned comrade. It was not the fact that he was the headliner in a "Sea World" attraction that caused their uproar, but the fact that he was performing stark naked.

**Kamu:** (Singing) Born freeeee! As free as the wind blooooows!

**Itachi:** (To himself) How did I get roped into this?

**Deidara:** OMG, un! I HAVE to get a picture of this, yeah! (Pulls out camera and snaps tons of pictures of Kisame).

**Kakuzu:** Pfft! Forget the disposable camera, (pulls out an expensive looking video camera), I am filming this! I can only imagine all the money I will get from blackmailing the blue-balled freak.

**Sai:** His junk is almost as small as yours, dickless.

**Naruto:** STFU, you crap artist!

**Tobi:** This show is so good! But Tobi can't help but think Tobi forgot something.

---Outside of the closet---

**Michael Jackson:** Oh Sasuke, your skin is so soft!

**Sasuke:** Stay AWAY from ME!!!!! HEEEEELLLPPP!

**Karin:** (Pauses from yanking on Sakura's pink locks and listens for the junior Uchiha). Was that Sasuke just now?

**Sakura:** (Pulls herself out of Karin's grip). He's probably cheering me on. Cha! (Tackles Karin).

---Back at Sea World---

**Tobi:** Oh yeah! Uzamaki-san, have you come up with a new catch phrase yet?

**Naruto:** I have a few choices, but I can't decide which one! I think I'll just let the readers decide through a poll on Shu-chan's profile. Hopefully, we'll find out next time!

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*Ondori is Japanese for rooster.

**I hope you all liked Chapter 1! So please vote, review, and send me YOUR truths and dares for the Naruto cast.**

**Ta-ta for now!**


	2. Basketballs, Flamethrowers, and Hyuugas

Oopsies! I just realized I posted an unfinished scene from another one of my stories I am working on! I am really sorry about that, but without further ado, here is the REAL Chapter 2: Basketballs, Flamethrowers, and Hyuugas.

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**Shu-chan:** (Looks at calendar). Oh no…it's p-past S-S-Sunday! That means…

(Overly dramatic music begins to play and a legion of genetically altered butterflies the size of basketballs soar into the bedroom.)

**Tobi:** My cookies! (Grabs all cookies and dives under the bed).

**Shu-chan:** ACK! Get away from me, you EVIL mutant butterflies! (Runs around while flailing arms in the air in an effort to escape from the swarm of mutant butterflies).

I ran around the room, arms flailing up in the air, and tried to escape the swarm of mutant butterflies. I almost made it out, but all of a sudden, I tripped over something and the butterflies caught up. They hovered over my body and lowered to pick me up so they can take me away in the dead of night far, far away because I got too lazy to complete a chapter by Sunday, but I could only smile. I pulled out the thing that tripped me and discovered it was the only thing that could defeat them.

**Shu-chan:** Bug spray! Yosh! (Begins to shoot the poison at Lepidoptera* monstrosities, but it ran out when all but one was dead).

**Shu-chan:** Eeep! (Hides under the bed with Tobi and the butterfly flips the mattress over).

**Tobi:** No! (Pulls out a flamethrower). Night-night! (Ignites the remaining butterfly while laughing manically).

**Shu-chan:** (Watches Tobi mercilessly scorch the butterfly into charcoal dust). Remind me never to make you mad.

**Tobi:** (Crosses arms and huffs). No one touches _my_ cookies!

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**Disclaimer: How about a math lesson! Me + Fan = fan based stories = I DIDN'T WRITE NARUTO!**

**Shu-chan:** Hey everybody! Tobi and I are back! Sorry we're late, but we had an army of evil mutant butterflies to exterminate.

**Shino:** MY BUTTERFLIES!? (Cries in Sasuke's emo corner).

**Sasuke:** (Comes out of the bathroom with a fresh razor blade and finds Shino in the emo corner). Hey! That's MY corner! (Dashes over to emo corner and kicks Shino out of his happy place).

**Shino:** Not now, emo kid. (Extends arms and thousands of bugs pour out of the sleeves to attack Sasuke).

**Kiba:** Wait, if you and Tobi were fighting off Shino's funky bugs, where did you leave Hinata?

**Shu-chan:** Huh, I thought I dropped her back off here.

**Sasuke:** (Pulls head out of the pile of Shino's insects). Oh, she's in the closet! She went in there after Michael Jackson had to switch back with Orochimaru. Never thought I'd be so glad to see Orochimaru.

**Orochimaru:** (Runs over to Sasuke to glomp him). YOU DO CARE!

**Michael Jackson:** My turn! (Glomps Sasuke, too).

**Shu-chan:** (Turns to Michael Jackson) Wait, it has been exactly a week already, so shouldn't you be heading back home?

**Orochimaru:** He is going to live here now!

**Sasuke:** (Raises head to look up at the sky). **WHY DO YOU **_**HATE ME!?!?!?!**_

**Shu-chan:** (Nervously) Why exactly is Michael Jackson living here again?

**Orochimaru:** He and I are BFF's. Right, Mikey?

**Michael Jackson:** That's right, Oro! (Both do the moonwalk).

**Shu-chan:** But where will you sleep? We don't have enough rooms!

**Deidara:** (Smiles evilly). Kisame moved to Sea World, un, so he could live with his girlfriend, yeah.

**Orochimaru** and **Michael Jackson:** YEAHS!

**Itachi:** (Furiously) But that's my room, too!

**Deidara:** (Sides of mouth twist even further upwards). I know, un

**Itachi:** (Whispers to Deidara dangerously). You'd better sleep with one eye open.

**Shu-chan:** (Rolls eyes and turns back to the closet not wanting to deal with the Michael Jackson twins and their living arrangements). Hinata, come out of that closet!

**Hinata:** N-No! I w-w-want m-my old c-cl-clothes b-b-back!

**Shu-chan:** You look great, so get out! We need to harass Neji and your dad!

**Neji:** (Sneaks up from behind). What was that?

**Shu-chan:** Get out of there right now or I'll write a Hyuugacest fan fiction with you and Hanabi!

**All Hyuugas:** WHAT!?

Hinata timidly walked out of the closet wearing one of the Hot Topic outfits I picked out for her, black eyeliner and blood red lipstick. Her gothic garb comprised of a red, green, and black plaid miniskirt with a black ruffle trim; studded spike belt; a loose scarlet necktie on top of a plain white spaghetti strap top; black arm warmers; a choker made of the metal part of her Konoha headband and a pleather strap; and high laced black boots. When she departed the safe haven, Naruto, Sasuke, and Gaara all fell over with blood spewing out of each nostril.

The only way to describe the expression on Hinata's face when walking out of the closet is that of a scared little rabbit looking into the face of a hungry wolf, especially when her fellow Hyuuga clansmen saw her. Hanabi was overtaken by a sudden giggle fit, Hizashi was absolutely speechless, but Hiashi and Neji weren't. Neji let out a high pitched, not to mention girlish, scream and then fainted backwards. Hiashi grabbed Hinata by the shoulders and started screaming.

**Hiashi:** (Shakes his daughter by the shoulders). HINATA! What have you DONE to yourself!? What POSSESSED you to DRESS like _THAT_! ARE YOU POSSESSED!? WE _NEED_ AN _EXORCISM!!!!! __**SOMEONE GET ME THE HOLY WATER!! **_(Shakes Hinata even harder). _**LEAVE THIS GIRL NOW, EVIL SPIRITS!!!**_

**Neji:** (Springs back to consciousness). I got an Ouija board, uncle! (Waves the board in the air while dressed in the Japanese medium attire).

**Hanabi:** (Takes a pauses from her laughing fit). Shu-chan brought all the dead people back to life, father! There must be some other reason why Hinata is dressed in such disgraceful attire.

**Hizashi:** Hiashi, _I_ say she's on _drugs_. Look at her EYES! They have dark circles all underneath them!

**Shu-chan:** (To myself) I KNEW I should have let Ino do her makeup…

**Hiashi:** _**DRUGS!? **_**YOU'RE ON **_**DRUGS!?!?!**_WE ARE GOING TO GET YOU TO AN AA MEETING, OR SOMETHING!!! (Throws Hinata over his shoulders and prepares to leave for a drug addiction help group).

**Hinata:** I-I'm N-NOT on d-drugs!

**Shu-chan:** Chill out, Hyuugas! I just took her to Hot Topic. A lot of teens dress like that.

**Hiashi:** IT'S **YOUR** FAULT! (Drops Hinata and storms over to me).

**Shu-chan:** Um…yeah! Oh look! Dares! (Runs away to read Truth or Dare requests). This one is from NarutoxTwilight.

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**yay!! i love this story! please update soon!! um...some dares...**

**1) i dare ino to throw out all her clothes except for her purple thingy**

**2) i dare tobi to join a basketball team. his head gets mistakebly taken for**

**a basketbal!!**

**---NarutoxTwilight**

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**Ino:** NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

**Sakura:** (Looks way too happy). Go ahead, pig! You must obey the reviewer!

**Ino:** Damn you, billboard brow! Damn you, NarutoxTwilight!

**Shu-chan:** (Hits Ino with one of her extra blouses). Don't insult the reviewer! (Throws blouse into the furnace).

**Ino:** I hate you all… (Throws the rest of her extensive wardrobe that she never seems to wear anyway in the series into the furnace).

**Sasuke:** I hate you all more!

**Shu-chan:** Shut up, emo kid! I love Shino for saying that!

**Shino:** (Continues to sulk in the emo corner).

**Ino:** (Throws the last of her clothes in the flames and sniffles a little). I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry…

**Sakura:** That was fun! What's next?

**Tobi:** Tobi's turn! Tobi gets a dare!

**Shikamaru:** (Suddenly appears in a vertical black and white referee ensemble). Why am I dressed up like a referee?

**Shu-chan:** (Stands up from the spectators' section) Because we all know you're going to play a sport and you're smart enough to know the rules.

**Shikamaru:** One problem, I don't now anything about bucketball.

**Shu-chan:** (Slaps hand over face) You have an IQ of over 200–

**Vegeta:** IT'S OVER 200!!!!!

**Nappa:** 200!?

Everyone looked at the unexpected guests with "WTF!?" faces

**Michael Jackson:** (From the spectators' section) The "Dragonball Z" room is down the hall, third door on your left.

**Vegeta:** Oh…ah, thanks. (Leaves).

**Shu-chan:** (Confused) You know about DBZ?

**Michael Jackson:** (Shrugs) The little boys like to watch it.

**Shu-chan:** (Tries to shake off MJ's response) As I was saying…(turns to Shikamaru), you're IQ is over 200 and you can't even say BASKETball? (Throws book a him). Just read–

**Shikamaru:** Done. (Throws book in backwards). Ok, the name of the game is BASKETball. Konoha vs. Akatsuki.

Pein, Konan, Sasori, Deidara, Itachi, Zetsu, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Tobi come out from one end of the court wearing red and black jerseys; and Naruto, Sakura, Lee, Ino, Kiba, Tenten, Choji, Shino, and Sasuke come from the other end wearing orange and blue jerseys. Except Ino, who is still wearing her same purple outfit.

**Shikamaru:** (Suppresses a laugh into a light chuckle at his comrades' uniforms)

**Naruto:** Hey, pretty snazzy uniforms!

**Sasuke:** This uniform is seriously cutting into my emo-ness.

**Itachi:** Little brother, you lack color distinction.

**Sasuke:** Shut u-Bra-GAWK!

**Sakura:** (Death glares at Shu-chan). Why are we dressed like Naruto?

**Naruto:** I'm sorry, but is the show called "Sakura" or "Naruto?"

**Sakura:** (Groans) "Naruto"…

**Everyone:** Thank Kami!

**Hidan:** Thank Jashin!

**Sakura:** Well, for now it is… MWAHAHAH!

**Pein:** (To Konan) If she weren't so damn useless, I might have recruited her… (Laughs along with Konan when he realizes what he just said).

Then everyone got into their positions with Tobi and Sasuke in the Midcourt Center. Shikamaru threw the ball up into the air but as it began to plummet down to the earth, memories of the cookie thieving butterflies replayed in his mind and there was only one thing Tobi could think of doing.

**Tobi:** (Pulls out flamethrower and fires at the ball and parts of Sasuke's face). NOT MY COOKIES! DIE, BUTTERFLY, DIE!

**Sasuke:** (Runs around screaming like a little girl with his head on fire). AHHH!!! MY FACE! MY SMEXY, SMEXY FACE! BRA-GAWK! GAWK! GGGAAAWWWKKK!

**Tobi:** (Looks at the smoldering basketball and smiles). Tobi's cookies are safe once again! (Munches on another cookie).

**Sasuke:** IT BURRRRRRRNNSSSS!!!

**Sakura,** **Karin, Ino, Orochimaru,** and** Michael Jackson :** OH NO! SASUKE-KUUUUUNNNN! (Runs over to Sasuke with buckets of water and throws its liquid contents on teme).

**Shikamaru:** Konoha is down one player and we have no ball. What now?

**Tobi:** Oh no's! What will Tobi do without a ball for the basket?

Everyone stared at Tobi smirking evilly. Tobi misunderstood why everyone was looking at him, so smiled innocently back. Or, at least it looked like there was a big childlike grin underneath that orange mask.

**Tobi:** What's everyone so happy about?

**Shikamaru:** (Sighs heavily, grabs Tobi by the collar of his uniform, and drags him to the Midcourt Line).

**Tobi:** Why's Tobi h–

But before Tobi could finish asking his question, Shikamaru threw him up in the air leaving either Kiba or Deidara to get to the ball. With one large leap into the air, Kiba pulled back his hand and smacked Tobi's head over to the Akatsuki's court and was received by Naruto.

**Tobi:** (After each dribble) Owwie…owwie…owwie…owwie…owwie…!

Naruto dribbled Tobi's head over to the sidelines and passed him to Sakura.

**Sakura:** Hey! I caugh–

**Sasori:** (Steals ball before Sakura could talk anymore and dribbles it close to the Midcourt Line). Heads up, Zetsu. (Throws Tobi to Zetsu).

**Tobi:** (Dizzily) Hi sempai!

Neither side of Zetsu said anything to the ball and just dribbled it while trying to evade Tenten. Tenten swiftly threw her arms out to smack the ball away from Zetsu, but ended up hitting another body part of Tobi's. The plant man smirked and passed Tobi to Pein, who threw him at the basket, only for it to be intercepted by Choji's expanded arm.

**Pein:** (To Shikamaru) Aren't you going to call that?!

**Shikamaru:** (Grunts) We're ninja, man. Stop being so troublesome.

After he securely caught Tobi and prevented Akatsuki to get a point, Choji threw Tobi over to Ino.

**Tobi:** Weeeeeeeeee!

**Ino:** Nice one, Choji! (Swivels past Itachi and throws Tobi to Lee).

**Lee:** Yosh! (Dribbles Tobi's head five feet away from the basket). If I make this basket, Sakura will fall in love with me and will publicly display her affection to me, but if I do not make this basket, I will 1000 pushups using only my pinkie! (Closes eyes and throws Tobi up into the air).

Everyone watched carefully as Tobi went flying until a _swish!_ noise was sounded.

**Gai:** Good work, Lee!

**Lee:** Gai-sensei!

**Gai:** Lee! (A beach sunset Genjutsu activates and Gai and Lee hug with tears rolling down their faces).

**Shu-chan:** (To Kurenai) You're the Genjutsu expert! Stop this NOW!

**Kurenai:** (Shrugs) Like I haven't already tried to put an end to that weird yaoi man hug.

**Hinata:** W-well, th-they aren't h-hurting a-anyone.

**Shu-chan:** Except my eyes…can I borrow your kunai?

**Kurenai:** I won't give you my kunai so you can gouge your eyes out.

**Shu-chan:** (Sinisterly sneers) Who said anything about gauging my _own_ eyes out?

**Kurenai:** Here you go! (Hands Shu-chan the kunai).

**Hinata:** Shu-chan! D-Don't _stab_ t-them! Y-You'll get their b-blood all o-over the fl-floor.

**Shu-chan:** (Groans) You're right… (Hands Kurenai back the knife).

**Hiashi:** Oh, before I forget, Hinata-chan, Shu-san, how did you pay for those…_clothes_. (The last word was forced out of his mouth with much disdain).

**Hinata:** …um…Sh-Shu-chan and I-I ch-charged it…

**Hiashi:** (A chord has been struck and anger envelops him). **YOU **–censored–_**CHARGED**_** IT!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!! ** (Turns to me). ** YOU **–censored– –censored–. **How DARE you **–censored– –censored– _**CHARGE **_–censored– **pieces of** –censored– **on MY **–censored– **ACCOUNT!?!?!?! WHAT GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO **–censored– –censored– –censored–!?! –Censored– –censored– –censored– –censored– –ccccccceeeeeeeennnnnnnnsoooooorrrrrrrreddddddd–

**Shu-chan:** (Stands there stupefied from Hiashi's…_colorful_ words). ……ok……

**Hiashi:** May the Flying Spaghetti Monster STEAL your SOUL!

**Shu-chan:** Oh shit! I –censored– forgot about the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

The Flying Spaghetti Monster slipped through the cracks of the double doors and flew at Tobi and me.

**Tobi:** SAVE THE COOKIES! (Hops out of the basketball hoop screaming).

**Shu-chan:** (Sighs heavily and pulls the flamethrower back out). This is getting old.

* * *

* Lepidoptera – the butterfly and moth category.

Thanks again for reading. A special thanks goes out to NarutoxTwilight, my story's first and only reviewer. Yeah, this chapter is a bit shorter than the last, so send me some more Truths and Dares! Please review and answer my "Naruto Truth or Dare" polls on my profile. Until next time!

P.S. In case you did not understand the whole thing about the evil mutant butterflies and Flying Spaghetti Monster, you should reread the very top portion on Chapter 1.

---So Happily Unsatisfied (Shu-chan)


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